I am a RUNNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This past year God broke my leg. He took away the one thing that I almost loved more than Him - RUNNING! It hurt! My heart hurt! My leg Hurt!

I went through the entire grieving process starting with denial; followed by anger, then grief, then acceptance, a little more anger and then an amazing peace.

This was a 12 month journey that had many ups and downs, 2 knee surgeries and many tears.

God showed me, as I've said before, that I am more than runner. He showed me that I can survive without the one thing that held my passions so deeply.

I spent a lot of the year not understanding why God would allow this. But then in my heart I knew the answer. He is a jealous God (as His word says) and He wants no idols in my life. Although I wasn't physically worshipping my running shoes, I was worshipping my running times, my achievements and my goals. And then, bam......I ran a marathon and pretty much nothing else for 1 year.

This week, exactly one year from last year's torturess pain-filled marathon (it's tomorrow by the way), God allowed me to run again and without pain. I had settled with the notion that running was a thing of the past. And I truly was resting and okay with that. But I went out for a jog with Dr's. orders and it went well. And then I did another mile a few days later and it went well. And then yesterday I ran 2, YES 2 miles. And still......no pain, no swelling, nothing. I can sit walk, squat, bend, etc.... The only thing that hurts is my Quads from being so out of shape. :)

I called the doctor to make sure this was okay - that I ran 2 miles. He didn't call me back, but I see him on Wednesday and I will find out then.

Yesterday when I was running it felt like such a miracle. A true miracle. So many times we would pass runners while were in taxis and I was so proud of them. And Parker would say, "Don't look, Mom. Don't look." And at first I was sad, but as time went on I could look without the sadness in my heart. And then yesterday, there I was running the streets of San Jose dodging traffic and smog. Just what I had dreamed of! I was one of them again.

My heart is filled with joy to the Lord for restoring my leg and my running. I am a runner! But I am HIS first! No more emphasis on speed, time or races. I just want to feel his presence and worship Him as I take each step.