Being back in the states was hard for the first two weeks. Now it is incredible on all levels. I have gotten into a good schedule with the kids, exercise, church, friends and family. My heart already feels sadness about returning to Lima. Here I feel so alive and happy and like my old self. I am constantly smiling and just refreshed. In Lima I sit around and mostly feel down and yuk!
God has a place for us to serve next, but we are confused as to where that would be. Our flesh clouds our judgement on many levels. We would love to stay in Lima so that we don't have to move, leave such a great house and school. We would not like to go to Colombia because Colombia means more change and transition and that equals YUK!!!! But Colombia possibly has people that God wants us to reach. Lima is pretty much reached, but there is a work we can do there as well, but not the kind of work we feel passionate about. But does the work we feel passionate about exist in Colombia as well or is it only available in in Asia or the Middle East where Christ is not known? And if we moved to one of those countries then we are talking about starting at ground zero again. Why can't I just be up for that? Why not just throw caution to the wind and start a new life ALL over again (yet again) with a different language, culture, values, etc...?? I wish I could be so brave. I feel like the missionaries in the East are REAL missionaries and we are just phonies taking the easy way out. But nonetheless, we need an answer...Colombia or Peru??? Only God knows. He's just not telling us yet.
2 comments:
Hmmm...I know what you mean about the other missionaries but for me I am just not up to learning a harder language than Spanish:) But I am older than you...lol
I am praying for God to show you His plan my friend...HE will...in His own time:) You did awesome with Spanish maybe you will learn another language and maybe it will be easier this time??? Big hugs!!!!
THERE you are! I've missed "hearing" from you... and you're wrong, you have at least ONE reader. :) I must confess, I was sad to think you had blocked me from reading your blog when I couldn't get on to read it anymore. Didn't know you closed it down... anyway, glad you're back.
That is a heavy post, friend. I hear what you're saying, and have felt the same feelings you are about wanting to be brave enough to go where the "real" missionaries are. But the truth is, I just am not, and you know what? I think that's OK. And maybe God will give you the courage to go farther and dig deeper for what you need to survive a place like you mention. But if not, don't you dare think you're any less of God's faithful servant than someone else, just because they have a more "difficult" assignment. Looking forward to God revealing His plan.
So much more to say. I don't even think a phone conversation would give us enough time...
Miss you. Wish I could hop on a plane down to Saint Cloud! I'm so glad I tried your blog one more time. :)
Jenny B.
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