Only God Knows

We almost did something permanent in regards to "bearing" more children. God blocked it on three accounts. On the third account I said, "Okay, God....what do you have planned for our family?"

Our plans are to not have anymore children. But I wonder what God's plans for our family are? I can't wait to see. Lately I have been feeling like there is one more little girl missing from our family. It started a few months back and has only gotten stronger. The problem is that I do not ever want to be pregnant again, but yet it seems as if someone is missing from the Phams. When I talk with John about "our next baby" or "being pregnant again" he doesn't say anything to the contrary or anything negative. That is odd, too! So at this point, only God knows. And it's interesting that that is enough for me with "family planning" but it's not with COlombia or Peru (see previous post). I hope that "Only God Knows" can be enough in all areas of my life. I don't need to know the answers or plan everything out. I just need to trust and walk in faith; for me...so much easier said than done.

By the way, if we have another little girl, her name will be Alani Bella.