Seeking Him

I have come to a desert in my spiritual journey - a dry, hot and lonely desert. I would rate my recent spiritual health as poor, but my worldly health as average to climbing. When I read the Bible - NOTHING! When I pray - FORCED! When I try to worship - JUST SINGING! When I try to teach God's word - it's not from the heart.

Tonight John and I started a series called Seeking Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It is a study on personal revival. The only people who can be revived are followers of Christ. You can't revive something that's dead. You just can't because it's dead and has no life. But as followers of Christ, we have life and we CAN be revived. We don't have to stay in this death-like state.

I have felt the Holy Spirit stirring in my heart for the past few weeks reminding me that I was called for more than this; reminding me I was called to live in abundance; reminding me I was called to experience His Glorious presence everyday.

The Holy Spirit also has been tugging at my heart that the first place to start is on my face in deep confession over the sins in my life. And yes, even missionaries have a laundry list full of sins. This morning I got up and confessed. I have been confessing all day, everyday. It hasn't been this weeping and moaning type of confession, but an acknowledgment, confession and then quick repentance. It feels good.

Today I shared with John how so much of my spiritual food in the States came from 1. The Pastor (don't have that here). 2. Christian radio - Don't have that here (in the car). 3. Being surrounded my like-minded believers and moms (we're working on this) 4. Our time with the Lord as a couple (doesn't exist).

So John decided that we are going to start the series Seeking Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom TOGETHER!. I must confess that we have not had "couples" devotions together in almost two years. Anyway, we just happened to have the book here from when I ordered it years ago. We went through Day 1 and our memory verse for the week is:

"Break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and raises righteousness on you." Hosea 10:12

This verse just shouted out to me: WAKE UP! IT'S TIME! SEEK HIM!

And the result: He will raise His righteousness on us.

We then prayed through Psalm 85:6-9 out loud.

It was so refreshing to have this time of intimacy with the Lord and my husband. With this missing from my life, no wonder I have been a body of dry bones.

During the time of prayer I became overwhelmed with God's steadfast love - something I haven't thought much of lately. It never changes. It's complete! It's unbreakable! It's just STEADFAST! And I can cling to it no matter what trials come my way or what desert I am walking (or literally living) in today.

Our prayer became that we would once again fear him and that His glory would dwell in our home and in this land.

O'Lord, Revive us again!