I had a hard day today! God worked out the situation, but it was still emotionally draining nonetheless. I am becoming more and more aware of Satan's schemes to attack and steal my joy. I did get to see John cry tears for me because he was very sad as well for the situation. He hardly ever cries (maybe like 5 times in 10 years), so this really meant a lot to me.
My heart, today more than ever, just longed for the comfort of my familiar friends who love and accept me. There is just something special about friends you have grown with over the years. I ached to get in my car and drive to Publix with the kids so that they could get snack-packs and I could get a diet-coke and some sushi. I mentioned it to the kids and they all started crying. Not a good idea to bring up stuff like that!
So I took a nap because I had worn myself out emotionally. I guess I cried ALL through my nap because I woke up with wet eyes and a sniffly nose. UGH!!
I went over to my friend Paula's house for about an hour and she was "skyping" her mom. That only brought tears to my eyes to see "HER" mom. Just a reminder of how much I miss my parents and would love to see their faces- and the faces of all my friends and family. It did bring a smile to my face to see her parents, though.
So, I guess God is teaching me to be content in ALL situations. Not so easy!! The pain of being away from all my loved ones for years to come is almost suffocating. I asked John today if he thought it would get any easier for me. He sure hopes so.
This is a void that ONLY God can fill.
Welcome!
Phamily Birthdays
- Jessica - January 3, 1976
- Avery - February 17, 2006
- Ally - March 11, 2002
- John - March 30, 1973
- Parker - September 14, 2000
- Miles - September 28, 2009
- Jaxson - November 10, 2003
Our Phamily 2014
Phamilyof6 in Lima - 2008
Me and hubby in Lima
Avery's 4th birthday
Baby Miles - 6 months
My hubby, John and Jaxson
Goofy Jaxson
Parker and my beloved cousin, Christopher
Our very first Phamilyof7 photo
Allyson (Ally) Paige Pham, 8
Miles, Ally and Mommy
John and the Oasis Church Plant
Gosen - where we work
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7 comments:
I miss you Jess! But you have a great family and God by your side and most importantly your hair looks fabulous(ha ha!)!!!
Jessica, hang in there! My family moved away from all our relatives in 2000 and it's been very difficult, granted we are still in the States. I know for you it is much different. I just want you to know that I feel some of what you are feeling and for me it has gotten better as I have found close friends where I am now. Our church has become my "family away from family" and the kids have adjusted well. Just know that you will have good days and bad days, but give it time and lean on the Lord. He is your companion and is ALWAYS there for you. ...Praying - Aunt Amy
Hang in there Jessica. All of us are cheering you on! Plus, our parents will be there before you know it! Keep your chin up.
Karen
I totally understand. Well, kind of. I mean, I'm not out of the country technically, although TRUE Texans would say I am. But I have felt a dark cloud following me around lately too. I know it's satan attacking. But every few days it just helps to have a good cry. I'll be praying for you even harder!!!!
Hey Jessica!
You don't know me and I don't know you, that is only through your blog. I stumbled across it when I was reading the mail out that Jeff and Judy Hughs send out. We were at MLC(ILC) with them and in the same house church,etc. We are missionaries in Brazil and have been here for five years. I love reading your blog! Your struggles are so like the ones that I went through our first year on the field..langague, missing home, kids adjuments,loneliness, on and on and on!!! I just wanted to encourage you if I could and tell you that it does and WILL get better. When you move to your city after school and HAVE to speak, you will overflow with Spanish that you did not even know you knew!! Everything is so overwhelming in the first year, not to mention the fact that you are bogged down with just trying to live. Anyway, Jessica, when days are tough,CRY! I'm good at that!! But, cling to your call!! Your right, the devil does work hard to get you down and missing home. Drown yourself in your family and your people and I promise you, the time will go by so fast and you will be home hugging those you love before you know it!!! Hang in there!!
Amy Stowell
PS Tell the Weavers that we said hello. We were in Language school here with them and oh my gosh, they are learning ANOTHER language!
Thanks to EVERYONE for all of the love and encouragement I received yesterday on such a down day. Your strength and love help support me on days when this seems so lonely and isolated from the ones I want to hug and kiss and see. Thank you for your sympathy and understanding. I love you all and thank you VERY, VERY MUCH!!!!!!
nothing prepares you for living with the unfamiliar everyday. whenever fritz is gone for a whole month, looking at the entire month makes me cry every time, thinking of the hard times and the loneliness. so, i always have to take each day at hand and do the best can to keep it together, and say to myself "this too shall pass". hang in there, Jess. praying for you all. Dao
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