Homesick

It is a joy to do what God has called me (us) to do.

But I REALLY miss my home town, my friends, family and old routine. I have never lived outside of St. Cloud except for a few years in college and then I was only 30 minutes away.

This past week I have cried every single day for one reason or another. I wouldn't say this is characteristic. I am not crying because I don't want to be here, but because I want to be there, too. I'm not going to dwell on all of the things I miss and desperately want to do or see or the people I want to embrace. That might start a flood of tears and it's also counterproductive.

I linger between guilt and acceptance most days. Guilt for missing a warm bath, my daddy's hug and a run with my friend Jenn at the lakefront. Then I accept God's perfect plan for our lives and I am filled with an unexplainable peace.

This life is not ridiculously hard, but being away from the people that have our hearts is the most painful experience I have had in life so far. There is no sacrifice that we are making that is NOT worth eternity. So, this life becomes challenging because of the pain that resides in my heart. I believed I would be immune to this, but I am not. God is using all of these things to show me that He is enough. Now, I just need to believe Him.